The hardest part....

Mason and Mahoney, last Friday night.

There is a hard part to being a grandparent....and it totally explains why my mom spoiled my boys rotten.  The hard part is that feeling like you are missing all the good things...Arrielle posted on facebook that she could see where MJ was getting her tooth buds in...instead of being happy..I cried for a moment.  Seeing pictures of Mahoney being held by her "other" grandparents, and aunties is so bittersweet.  I love that Mahoney is so loved, by so many.  She is amazing...she has a bond with these people, and I am so jealous that my skin should glow green.  It took forever to get enough money to see her after she was born, and we are still paying on it.  Because of the move next year, I don't think we will get to go home until we are actually moving there, or at least closer to there.  

I wonder how Mahoney will act if we don't see her until she is over a year old...will she cry when she is put in our arms??  My heart drops at the thought.  I totally get why my mom spoiled the boys completely rotten...she sent her love in the form of great gifts when she could not be there.  The boys knew it too...all they had to do was mention that they wanted something...and it showed up in the mail.  My boys were lucky though...and they always saw my mom and dad a couple times a year, even when we moved to Texas.  My boys always knew my parents adored them...I have a funny memory of my dad teaching Mason to make a balloon make that awful screeching noise after you blow it up and then pull on the part that you blew into, there is a picture of them giggling and smiling.  My dad, when he knew grandkids would be there for a couple weeks in the summer, would delay his garden..so the grandkids could drag all the Tonka toys in to the freshly tilled dirt....oh my God they loved it, they would come in the house filthy and no one cared.  They loved making cookies with my mom, all five grandkids shared that special moment with her.  

I sooo want these type of unforgettable memories with Mahoney and future granbabies.  I don't know how my mom did this...at least there are now cell phones that send pictures and facebook with videos, because I feel like I am missing all the good stuff.  I admit I am feeling a little like a sad sack, and I do truly love all the pictures, videos and calls when she is "talking"...but, I just want to hold her, smell her and whisper in her ear how much I adore her.