I can feel it coming, sort of like that feeling you have when you are about to get a cold or a headache...it comes in mid November...and stays through New Years. It is the feeling, that tears are just about to spill. I got them this morning, watching one of the morning news shows...Annie Lennox was singing a holiday song, and I thought to myself...I bet my mom would like this. Then I remember....
I thought the holidays would get easier, but they don't really...I think they are a little harder honestly. I miss her so much and there is so much I wish I could talk to her about. I want to know if she felt this broken hearted when Mike and I were getting older and doing our own thing. I want her advice on this new position I am in as a mom. It hurts to think of the things she is missing...Mason's graduation, his engagement, Ian getting his drivers license, Elliott as a senior, Shawn's voice changing, and Megan becoming a young woman. She would be so proud.
I do find comfort in the little things...Richard Paul Evans, he writes a book every year and it comes out at Christmas time....my mom read every one up until she died and I still read them. They are the kind of books that always make your throat hurt so bad, because you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and scare the crap out of your husband in the middle of the night, because you have just finished reading it at 2am. Tea, silly as it is...wrapping my hands around a cup of tea always soothes my tired soul.
So, now you know my weekend plans...I have my book already and I still have a little of my favorite British tea left...I hope it rains all weekend..just in case the story makes me cry.
No comments:
Post a Comment