Three years ago today....

Three years ago today, at very close to this exact time of day....I had my last conversation with my Mom.


When my mom was put on Hospice care, I spent every day I could there with her and Dad....I spent December 13th, 2006 with her. She sat quietly on her bed, eyes glassy from the medications she was getting...I sat on the couch, filling out Christmas cards, just letting her know I was there. Funny thing...my mom taught me to watch soaps, and we were watching General Hospital that afternoon. It was uncomfortable for her to lay down, so she sat up...and I went to her. I sat down on the loveseat we had placed next to her bed. I grabbed her hand and asked her "Do you know how much I love you??"...she smiled a little smile and told me "I know, and I love you too." My mom was trying to hold on...she did not want to mess up Christmas for her grandkids, and I knew it. Ever since I was a teenager, my mom and I talked about the right to die with your dignity intact. I then told her, with tears in my eyes..."You do not have to hold on...I will do everything I can to get you where you need to go"...she was quiet and told me again, that she knew. I told her "You are Christmas to this family, and you will always be our Christmas angel". It was getting a little deep and I could tell she was a little uncomfortable. Then, in true Jeanine and Nita fashion (you see....we tried to laugh in the face of death...we even got shushed at a chemo appointment..apparently you are supposed to be quiet for that...who knew!)...I looked at the tv, at a scene on General Hospital and told my mom "If my college professors looked like that I would have stayed in college" and giggled, mom did too and replied with a smile "me too!". My mom was napping when I left that evening...I hope she heard again how much I loved her. Mike stopped by that evening too...and told her how much he loved her too.


The next morning, my beautiful mom passed away....sitting in her favorite spot on the couch. I was just an exit away, on my way to her.... when Brett called me.