Who says I cannot keep a secret....because I have been keeping one from you...my beloved readers. Remember a while back, shortly after we moved here...the Coast Guard implemented a program called CRSP (career retention screening panel)...everyone with over 20 years (and over three years in their current rank) is screened and a panel decides if they will continue in the Coast Guard. Lee made it through, and we breathed I sigh of relief. We thought the screening process would be every few years....NOPE!!! Lee is on this years list for review...we will find out in August his fate.
I lost a couple nights sleep about it....but in reality, I really do not give a shit anymore! Lee will have 25 years in the guard next month...I have rolled with him for almost 23 of them. I am tired of the worry that seems to come at this stage in his career. I worry twice a year if Lee will make weigh ins, what will happen if they force him out....I would rather just worry about one thing...will we be able to pay the bills. The first few days after finding out he could be retiring from the CG in December 2013...I sat at my computer taking notes, figuring out the cost of insurance..life, medical, dental...how much it would cost to go back home and what our budget would be. I crunched the numbers...with what we would get for Lee's retirement (not at all as much as you would think), the pay Lee could get at the lower end of his field and what we could expect me to make at a part time job...we will be ok. We have lived on a tight budget so long...we can do this.
We have a plan "A"...Lee makes it through once again...we fill our dream sheet with Washington billets (jobs), and let the Coast Guard pay to get us home and in the area where we want to stay, and retire in 2015....Plan "B" is similar just a tad more stressful...Lee retires in fall 2013, we head north to Washington, but many of the expenses that come with moving fall into our hands. The process for finding jobs can take up to a year...sometimes more. I am grateful the CG at least gives us this time to transition. Lee has great skills, and there are so many agencies that need someone with his talents...I have every confidence in him. I think I will find a job easily as well.
It is no lie that this stresses me out a little...but really, I am cool with it. I want to be closer to my Dad, Mike and his kids.....and I daydream about holding my precious Mahoney as often as possible, and being there to to see the second pregnancy. I want to see my niece graduate. I want to go to Mason and Arrielle's for dinner.
I remind myself that the funnest things in life are often scary...getting married, having children...roller coasters!!! Lee's dad named his boat "Wild Ride"....and I am reminded that the Coast Guard has been one hell of a wild ride, and I think if it is next year or in 3 years...I am ready for this roller coaster ride to slow down.
I could live in a van down by the river (a family joke)...as long as I have Lee, it is all gonna be fine.
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